So maybe I needed to say this prayer? The Sinner’s Prayer has many variations to it, but it basically goes something like this:
“God, forgive me of all my sins. I repent of my sins and ask you to come into my life. I forgive everyone who has ever sinned against me. I believe that Jesus is Lord and that He died for my sins, was raised from the dead, and was resurrected to Heaven where He is with God the Father.”
Some of the variations of the prayer have more words, and some have less. Either way, it never seemed to change my life. Why? It was still simply coming from my mind and not from my heart. I now believe that’s why I was "not really there yet," so to speak.
When I realized that I was just saying that I loved God, but that I didn’t really love Him from my heart, I realized there was a big difference. Why should a Holy God save me when I was just reciting words that had no meaning and nothing was coming from a place of earnest love and worship?
I believed that Jesus was Lord. I believed that He was able to forgive me of my sins. I didn't yet know that I had to forgive others for me to be forgiven, too. I knew that Jesus was raised from the dead and was resurrected into Heaven with God the Father.
I was still missing the most important part. The Bible tells us that:
“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.” (Romans 10:9-10)
Yet, I had been saying this prayer for awhile and not really meaning it. This is why nothing was changing.
It was me that needed changing – that’s why! I needed to change my heart, not just my mind! God wouldn’t force me to do anything. He gives us total and complete free will. He will not change us, as we need to be changed, until we really give ourselves to Him with not only our mind, but also with our heart, in truth.
So when I finally spoke this prayer from my heart, and as I spoke to God in total and complete love and yet reverent fear, I asked Him to forgive me of all my sins, and to cleanse me by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. I forgave others, and I asked Him to come into my heart this time, as I began to truly give my life over to Him and truly love Him with all my heart. But had I really “let go and let God” take over?
It took awhile. I had not yet fully surrendered. A dream of symbolism and imagery later on would give me what I needed to understand fully surrendering.
Then God also had some more work to do in me. It was plowing time, as Joyce Meyer says. She has also helped me to understand what was happening to me and why.
In letting go, I realized I had to learn a lot about God. How?
I went to church and listened to the pastor. I checked the teachings against the Bible. I began learning a lot of lessons, which were contrary to what I was taught growing up. I listened to various ministers and read many different Christian materials. As I contemplated everything I had heard and read, I used the Bible and prayer as my compass to be guided toward all truths.
As I read my Bible, although it was very was slow at first, it was opening my heart more and more to God. As I would read, I would also pray for God to help me understand His Word. I had also made a vow to myself to read the Word each and every day. When I’d slip up for a day, I’d go right back to it, as though I had never stopped. Good habits require practice!
Eventually, I realized that God tells us to read His word day and night! We should be meditating on His word every day, every night and day! Wow!
“Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” (Joshua 1:8) – It really is the B.I.B.L.E.! (See prior blog entry.)
So, as I read the Bible, the Living Word actually began to change me. It began to change me from the inside out. There’s a Christian song about this, and it certainly did apply to me. I was starting to “lose myself,” and “my heart and my soul, I give you control, consume from the inside out.” Yes, I gave God control. I relinquished my free will and surrendered to Him – everything!
Did I need someone else to teach me about God? Sure, the preachers and the teachers -- they all helped. However, God was becoming the most important leader, my best preacher, and my best teacher in the whole wide world. He tells us in His Word:
“…You have received the Holy Spirit, and He lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what He teaches is true. It is not a lie. So just as He has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.” (1 John
When I gave God my heart, He gave me His Holy Spirit. As I began to read God’s Book (the Bible), the Word came alive in me and my life. Things were beginning to make real sense. There were no more contradictions. There was no more confusion. Everything was different this time, and I realized that this time, God was giving me roots, and they were growing deep underground like a plant.
There was more and more clarity with every day that passed. I felt as though it was just me and God at times, and only for His good. As I was drawing closer to God in fellowship, I was living in obedience, and I was changing.
Giving up an old habit that was slowly killing me was one of the first hard things to surrender. The battle was cigarettes. I’d tried before, but I had always desired them back into my life. This time was going to be different. The only way it was going to happen, I realized, was by allowing God to take over, and He did. I had to suffer through it, but I learned:
“Even though Jesus [is] God’s Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered.” (Hebrews 5:8 – NLT)
I could have never done this on my own. God completely took away the desire for me to smoke those nasty cigarettes, and He can do it for you, too, no matter what your addiction is in this life! If you let God take over, everything is possible.
“For I can do everything through Christ, who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
There was a small group of people from the church who were praying for me, similar to those described in the Bible:
“So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of His will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9)
God was doing just that – giving me more and more of a complete knowledge of His will, spiritual wisdom, and understanding of His Word. This was coming directly from God. Not to say that I didn’t hear from preachers and teachers, too, but God’s love was coming directly through from His Word – The Bible!
“The Sinner’s Prayer” – it finally "took" hold, when it truly came from the heart!
Try it! Give your heart to God, if you haven’t already. Then read His Word and receive His love, and learn to fellowship with your Creator. When you allow Him, He will change you, too, and then everything will be different! It will be good! As you read His Word and meditate on Him and His laws day and night, I hope and pray for you, whoever you are reading this blog, just like the small group that was praying for me!
Until we virtually meet again, may God call you to Himself.
God’s Word for Today: “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His [God’s] law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:1-2 – KJV)
Copyright © 2011 by Patricia Shehan
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